May today there be peace within.
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others.
May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content with yourself just the way you are.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

The choice of lunch locations today was a diner. I got there and found they had no ice tea and that left me with pop, coffee or water to drink. Water it is. The menu was …well what you expect from a diner, greasy food. I thought maybe a salad but when I tried the dressing it was . I ended up ordering a patty melt with no dressing and cottage cheese for my side. Thus breaking my no red meat run. I have been doing REALLY good too! They had chicken but it was either fried or lemon pepper. Not a fan of lemon pepper.

Now its post lunch and I have a headache. IDK if its from the food or the smoke in the place, which was plentiful or just my job. Technically it was starting as we left the diner but has intensified so we’ll blame both. Maybe my body is pissed at me for eating the greasy hamburgers.

I finished my cleanse on Tuesday, still drinking my smoothies for breakfast and dinner though. Been sticking to the treadmill too.

Is it everyone’s secret desire to be a little different than everyone else? To be a little more exciting, a little less run of the mill? Do we all try to achieve that, even in some small degree? Maybe its just me that feels this way… as if life is too short to be boring and generic, to lead a simple, uneventful existence. I don’t want to be another face in the crowd, another name in a book. I want to make an impression, a difference, a mark.

Some people are different than everyone else but aren’t able to recognize that about themselves even if you tell them so.

Some people believe they are different from everyone else but really aren’t. Yet they insist on telling everyone they meet how unique and special they are.

Some people are different, unique and exciting and have the ability to accept themselves as that without being compelled to point out to everyone they meet how different and unique they are.

And some people are just ordinary in every way.

Were you expected a point? Maybe some big revelation? I got nothing

Yesterday I taught two IT classes…beginner and intermediate. While I dread the whole concept of being forced to lead a class and teach, I love the result when its so positive. Yesterday all the users were really happy to be in the class and eager to learn. We were able to flow through my topics, by pass the things they knew and focus on some new stuff. They asked a lot of engaging questions and allowed me to teach them some cool stuff. That really makes this fun and rewarding for me as well. I get that most people hate computers and don’t find them as fun and useful as I do but when someone goes “oh that’s cool!” it makes my day! :P

The boy bid on, and won, a spot on a job working the new high speed rail project. This project will provide high-speed rail passenger service between Chicago and St. Louis along the current Amtrak route.

He will be working an hour away, 12 hour days, 6 days a week with Saturdays off. This is slated to run till about the end of the year. Pretty harsh schedule considering he will be staying away from home 6 nights a week in a hotel. The money is excellent though. I’m not thrilled over being home alone so much and losing our precious little together time but its not permanent. Also if it becomes too stressful for us, the boy can always bid back home. Plus being just an hour away we could sneak in some extra visits but I don’t want him to be exhausted from trying to drive back and forth. I used to work 12 hour shifts and drive an hour one way, 7 days on and then 7 days off. By the end of the 7 days on I would be exhausted. There were times I almost didn’t make it all the way home.

He goes tomorrow for class which includes a hy-rail trip to check out the track (FUN!). The job starts next Tuesday. There is a possibility that he could get bumped off the job all together because there is talk that the jobs will be reposted for bid 9 days after the job starts. Don’t ask why, I don’t know why.

So in 7 days… 4lbs lost :)

Still a week to go on the cleanse. I was having some lightheadedness last week but it seems to be gone this week.

The biggest plus of all is that the phantom gall bladder pains are gone! I’m still feeling a bit over full even when not over eating but I have a good feeling about that easing too if I were to continue the ACV. Yeah I only did that 3 times but it stopped the pain.

NO pop at all. Meat intake has only been chicken and only a few times. I have had no red meat at all. YAH ME! This is big hurdle for me. I love being a carnivore.. rib eye steak is just so good but I suffer so much guilt over it at times. If a livestock truck passes me on the road and I see all those little piglets with their little pink noses sticking out the side of the truck I can’t help but tear up knowing their fate. I instantly regret every bit of meat I’ve ever eaten. But then, true to my personality, a few days later I forget that horrible feeling and go back to my carnivorous ways. I can never go full vegan. I’m not even going to sit here and play like I’m capable of that. BUT I can reduce the amount of meat I eat.

So for a week my diet has been two smoothies (breakfast and dinner) with a sensible lunch. These smoothies are really good and easy to make. If the boy does take the job (oh did I not blog about THE JOB …erg coming up next I guess) I can probably maintain this diet for a long time. No guilt about not eating with dinner with him.

I have gone back to Livestrong.com to track my meals but I’ll post it here too just in case Livestrong.com ever goes bye-bye plus my profile over there is not public.

So here is what is in my breakfast:

1/3 cup light OJ (using Sunny D right now cuz I bought it before I started making this OOPS)
1/3 cup nonfat plain yogurt (organic European style from Trader Joe’s)
4 Packets Splenda
1/3 cup liquid egg substitute (just got this yesterday, so I had been making it without)
Dash of Vanilla
1/2 cup crushed ice

Made as directed:
Calories 130
Carbs 16g (Sugars 10g)
Total Fat 2g
Protein 14g
Fiber 0
Cholesterol 0
Sodium 170mg

Made my way with Sunny D, European Organic, 1 Scoop Red drink powder:

Calories 141.7
Carbs 26.93g (Sugars 15.21g)
Total Fat 0g
Protein 9.62g
Fiber 1.33
Cholesterol 3.3
Sodium 206.75mg

For dinner I have the same smoothie but with 1 Scoop Green drink (no egg). I have been alternating with bumping up the ingredients so I don’t get hungry. Curious to see if adding the egg delays my pre lunch hungries. Last night I only increased the yogurt but doing that puts me over my recommended sugar intake for the day. Totals for two smoothies (no extra ingredients) would be:

Were it not for the distance
I would softly kiss your lips goodnight
and hold you in my arms
until you were safely asleep

Though we are apart
our hearts are not

~3/30/2010

I was saving this because I felt like it was not finished but here it is 5 months later and I still have nothing more to add so here it is.

I drive 54 or 57 miles one way to work depending on which interstate I take.
So that’s 108 to 114 per day round trip.
525 or 570 per week.
2100 or 2280 per month.

Time wise its an hour and 15 minutes one way, 2.5 hours a day in my car.
Some days its longer due to traffic or weather. I am easily wasting 15 hours a week of my life in my car. By the time I get home its 6:30 and I’m frustrated and annoyed. Minutes of my life swirling down the drain… time wasted. I need a job closer to home that’s all there is to it.