I keep forgetting to blog about this but I feel that I should even though its a week later.

I was meditating in my office in the morning, which I started doing recently. Almost immediately a vision or depiction of a scene came into my head. It was someone being lashed or tied to a chair. I only saw that image but I knew (like how you just know things in a dream) that it was someone who was being held prisoner and being abused. It was very disturbing and I immediately tried to push it away. I was afraid to let it come up and play out in my mind the way we are supposed to allow thoughts to freely flow in TM. I was afraid of how dark and bad it was and I couldn’t bear to face it, especially not at work in case I started crying. All through my TM session that morning it tried to come back, I could feel it lurking at the periphery of my mind. I felt like a little kid afraid to look under the bed. Soon my legs began to throb and ache and I wanted to just stop meditation. I know from my teacher that I shouldn’t give in to those feelings though. I should stick it out as its my body trying to avoid dealing with something. I finished the meditation but I was not able to face whatever inner demon was trying to come out. I don’t know if it will come back and to be really honest, I hope it doesn’t. It was deeply disturbing.