I only worked a half day today and when I left work I was hungry. Figured I would stop at White Castle and since I had pee, I went inside. On my way to the bathroom I passed an older guy eating alone but didn’t really pay any attention to him. I placed my order and was filling my cup. I looked up to step away from the fountain and the guy was standing there so I couldn’t easily step around him. He was scruffy looking and his teeth were a mess, he was balding. Probably in his late 50’s.

Him: “You look like a woman I used to work with.”
Me: “Oh really?”
Him: “Yes. Carol something. We worked together for the US Government. USDA.”
Me: “Yeah? So I have a twin out there somewhere?”
Him: “Well she is older than you. I had such a crush on her. She had red hair like yours.

At this point a guy says “Excuse me” so that he can get to the fountain. I use this opportunity to position myself closer to the door and to try to put some distance between he and I. His unwavering gaze was creeping me out. He was looking at me like the big bad wolf looked at Little Red Riding Hood!

Him: “She had a son. He was this tall (lifts his hand up to about 6 feet off floor) and she always called him her little boy.”
Me: “Aw, well to her he was. That’s a mom for ya.”
Him: “I don’t know where she’s at anymore.”
Me: “Ah you didn’t stay in touch with her.”
Him: “Well we only worked together.”
Me: “Yeah I guess we don’t typically keep in touch with ex co workers.”

All the while there are three other people loosely circled behind us. I’m sure they were watching this exchange with great amusement because I was crazy uncomfortable and struggling to find polite things to say to this man who was hovering so near me. I was constantly looking over at the counter trying to will them through sheer desperation to call my name.

Finally my salvation… or so I thought… my order was up! I quickly dashed over to grab my bag but had to hand it back cuz they gave me the wrong one. I got my order and headed for the door. Only to find my new ‘friend’ waiting for me.

Him: “I’ll get the door for you. I’m leaving too.”
Me: “Okay thanks!”

I pass through the door and walk briskly towards my car trying to put some distance between us.

Him: “So are you going back to work?”
Me: “No I’m heading home. Only a half day today.”
Him: “What are you going to do there?”
Me: “Just relax and watch tv.”
Him: “Do you want to eat here with me?”

Dumbfounded, I paused and looked over at him and he gestured towards his car. I swear my eyes widened in shock.

Oh yes… This crazy little man was inviting me to sit in his car with him and eat my lunch. The urge to head for zee hills at a dead run was only quelled by the fact that I was standing at the back of my car.

Me: “No thanks I’m just going to go home.”
Him: “Oh okay… bye”

I couldn’t get my car unlocked fast enough and then I promptly locked it behind me. I was stunned but laughing at the absurdity of the entire situation. I wasn’t frightened. I was creeped out by his unwavering but somewhat vacant gaze, as well as his close proximity. He wasn’t intimidating but definitely not aware he was being creepy.

I’m going to stick to the drive thru from now on. Bob forbid I run into my admirer again.